On Various Types of Respect - EcoTrain's Question of the Week

What does respect mean to you, who do you respect and why, and how do you demonstrate it?

This is the question I decided to look into this week, since @ecotrain has offered us two questions to pick from, both having to do with respect. So what is respect for me? Sure, it should be easy enough to define, until you really think about it. Because respect does not always equal respect.

Respecting Great Achievements

Sure, if someone has completed some amazing feats, it deserves recognition. A friend of mine recently graduated from medical school. Another one got her first book published. My wife, together with the NGOs she's been working with, have accomplished what I'd always thought was utopian at best: that the Mexican immigration authorities changed their practice of detaining undocumented migrants. Incredible as it is, they managed to pull it off! (Ha, in your face, United States!) My deepest respect for that. In these cases I express it by means of an applause, a congratulation, and similar cheerful gestures. Of course I feel proud of them and share their joy of accomplishment, and telling them only adds to it.

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Respect For Other Things Than Achievements

At the same time, I have to acknowledge my respect for people who have not achieved such amazing feats. This morning, for example, I talked to a friend of mine who told me how he lost $200,000 Australian Dollars in an investment that went belly up. Instead of moaning and crying about this substantial loss, he talked about visiting his parents, about a meditation retreat he's organizing with some friends, and about planing to ride the Transsiberian railroad. My respect goes out to him for his attitude of seeing the failed investment as "just money," though he is not rich by any means. Congratulating him would be out of place, of course, but I did tell him how I admired his attitude, and how I want to follow his example should I ever find myself in such a situation.

Respect for such positive attitude is quite similar for the respect paid for wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. This could be the result of having accumulated many years, as I addressed in an old QOTW from last year on respecting our elders. Other times, it is the sheer life experience that deserves respect. Because the school of life may charge it students with pain and suffering, this quite often creates an overlap with the next area of respect:

Overcoming Great Difficulties

When somebody experienced such horrible backgrounds of suffering such as war, persecution, or domestic violence, severe injury, or disease, I also have a feeling of respect for them. This is especially true when you see how despite all the awful things they had to endure, they maintained their humanity, maybe even passing their values on to others. In these cases I don't tend to express my respect as directly, though I'm sure the way I act and talk will reveal that I hold them in high esteem.

Courage and Strong Values

Another way to earn my respect is to do something that shows a strong commitment to one's values. If someone does not mind standing up for them, even - or especially if it comes at a cost of a certain advantage. This includes all those cases where I may not even agree with the person. Merely the fact that they are defending what they believe in is wort the mention. Depending on the setting and the situation, I could even cheer loudly for them, or simply walk up to them, thank them for their effort, and wish them all the best.

General Respect - For Mere Existence

After going over all these cases where respect is earned or deserved, I'd like to mention the most important kind of respect: the one that everyone should get, simply for being. It's the most basic, unconditional respect each fellow human is due, though you may include all living things, as well as inanimate objects. Because just as much we need to respect ourselves, even if we have not done anything particular to deserve it, we must treat others with the same unconditional respect. Expressing it is the simplest thing in the world: saying 'hello', a handshake, a smile, or simply looking someone in the eyes already does wonders in recognizing them as beings not unlike yourself.

Commenting on some other answers to this QOTW, I mentioned how our self-respect also earns the respect of others, and vice versa: respecting others earns you their respect as well, which in turn strengthens your self respect. This is probably the most essential type of respect. With this being part of your basic attitude towards the world, you could even sit down with a Hitler or a Rockefeller, realizing that they are just as human as you are. Sure, their actions are a different matter, that's also where other types of respect come in, or not. But this general, all inclusive respect already gives us a major headway in this world so full of hatred and misunderstanding.

And THAT deserves respect!