Preliminary Reaction:
Here, you can see the immortal face of “nope.”
This unsettling image has been all over the clickbait sidebars of the internet for years now and, presumably, spewing its sticky tendrils into the subconscious minds of millions.
I usually take the view that knowledge is power. In this case, though, I’ve been hesitant to embrace any power which my knowledge of what that thing is might give me. Some powers--like invisibility and the ability to hula-hoop--are righteous and good, and ought to be applauded. But does that slimy pink thing look like the sort of entity that would bestow you with any power other than “ability to inspire screaming”?
No, it does not.
This being the case, it makes perfect sense that the image was stolen to illustrate an ad about gastric distress. It’s clearly not a part of the human digestive tract, but nothing about it screams “peace, health, and goodwill towards men,” and everything about it screams “do not engage—I only hate, I cannot love.”
But why, why would watching that thing make anybody feel better—or feel anything other than an overwhelming desire to flee?
I posit that there are simply some mysteries too complex for the mortal mind to grasp.
What it actually is:
In spite of my serious reservations regarding the knowledge/power tradeoff, I did finally look the picture up. It’s a still from a video of an Eunice aphroditois, or Bobbitt worm (after Lorena Bobbitt, who famously cut off her sleeping husband’s penis in the early 90’s).
The Bobbitt worm is a carnivorous ocean predator which catches its prey with its turbo-charged proboscis. No reports of it neutering abusive spouses has yet been reported but, should a specimen ever develop vigilante tendencies, it would be grim news indeed for its targets. Bobbitt worms attack with such power that they’ve been known to slice coral in half. Also, a bite from one will almost certainly turn you into a sad, off-brand Spiderman.
So maybe wear a cup when you snorkel, just in case.
What it will actually do:
Here’s a gif of what it will actually do.
Enjoy trying to unsee that, like, ever.