The plane touched down after descending through seeming miles of dank cloud. The wheels screeched and it started to brake. The previously noisy cabin became eerily silent. We slowed to a halt. Then...
A gigantic round of applause rolling around the cabin!! It was like a night at the proms if that means anything to anyone.
Amongst the enthusiastic clapping was even the odd cheer! We did it, we are alive! The sentiment seemed to be.
Daddy why are you not clapping?
Asked my daughter, genuinely puzzled by it all.
Because I am not a dick. I thought. Of course, that is not really a daddy answer. So instead, I settled with.
People are a bit silly lass, aren't they?
I said this loudly enough for the chattering monkeys screeching and clapping nearby to hear. But of course, they didn't.
They were too enthused that the gift of life had not been denied them by the plane exploding on the runway and carried on hooting and swinging from the overhead luggage compartments.
Is this a Brit thing? Does it happen in other countries? Please tell me. I would love to know that it is universal and not just limited to the daft British folk and their superstitious fear of being carried through the air in a metallic sky wagon.
I mean if it was a universal thing to do, why did the folk manning Passport Control look so pissed off when I encouraged my daughter to clap and cheer after we made it through their rigorous screening.
Stern faced man -
Back from holiday?
Yes.
Stern faced man peered over the counter at my daughter who was looking as sweetly un-terrorist'y as possible
Your daughter?
Yes.
On you go.
Phew, that was terse.
I mean, when the bus stops near my work in the morning. I dont stand and encourage everyone into a resounding cheer for the driver. Do you?
Although that does remind me of the time I was on a coach trip on a holiday and someone passed around the drivers hat at the end of it and it was full of fivers. I was like, fuck me, this trip cost 3 of us 150 quid and now I have to give the driver a Pam Shriver?
I should have just started a round of applause instead.