Proceed with caution. I discuss types of suicide, mental illness and drug use.
I woke this morning to find that another young man in my community is gone to a drug overdose. He was a father, friends with many of my friends. I did not know him, but I read the news and I felt a wash of sadness roll over me for their loss, for his children and for him because, like me, his life was lived with depression.
Whether the end of his life was a decision consciously made, I don't know. What I do know is I have lost many friends to the lows of depression. One walked into traffic. One hung himself with his belt in his dorm room after finally escaping an abusive home. Another hung himself in his bedroom. He was 16. His mother found him.
I don't want to write a post that is just a reflection of sadness and loss, so here's what I am trying to say:
It hurts horribly. These people fought for a long time before they stepped out of this existence and into whatever is next. In the time of Facebook, it can hurt even more--reminders pop up of time spent with those gone every few weeks. Social media now keeps us connected beyond the grave. You never know when you will have their face in your feed again. It is easy to be overcome by the loss, but there is another choice: celebration.
Remember the good times.
Celebrating how far someone made it when living with depression is a beautiful choice. I know what it is like to feel the hopelessness that leads to suicide. I know how incredible the achievement when I come through a depressive episode still breathing. The in-between periods can be intense. Depression is an illness. Suicide is a symptom. I believe drug use is as well.
My suggestion is we celebrate every happy moment, every fun exchange, every argument we came through together with those we have lost. Each time we are reminded of our time together, we feel the sadness but we also stay open to the joy those we miss brought to our lives.
I am sad at the moment, so I can't be certain I am speaking clearly. I hope this is coming through. Is there anyone you would like to celebrate? Let me know. I will do my best to celebrate with you.