What would life be like without the many challenges that come our way. I see those challenges as an opportunity for growth. But first, first we have to ride the many waves that carry us forwards and then backwards. That throw us up upon the shore only to take us back out to sea again. Where the waters can be oh so calm one minute and then stormy the next.
that shake me to my core
that rip me open and leave me exposed!
Rising
and
Falling
Daring
and
crushing,
no relief from their constant battering
as the throw me naked upon the shore
of who I am!
That is exactly how my life has been, these last 18 months. I have lost both my sister and a friend to cancer and I separated from the father of my children, after he began an affair with a much younger woman. I have joked that my life has been like a very cheesy soap opera, one where you would shake your head, in disbelief that such a thing could happen to one person within such a short space of time.
of pain and sadness,
all wiped away
when I embraced my madness.
A story of a downward spiral
that swept me away
that filled me with darkness,
yet guided me always
back to the brightness of day.
A story where I surrender
and give into the need
to follow my instincts
so that I am always freed.
Was it a coincidence that 21 months ago, I created a blog on Steemit. And because of that, I began to write again, to rediscover my passion in creating and expressing myself. This platform has given me the opportunity to really feel everything that I am going through and have it acknowledged and heard, first by myself and then by others.
that leads me far
that guides my healing
that diminishes my scars,
no longer screams
to slow me down
I've found my pace
I no longer drown
in memories that
hold on to me
my journey now
it sets me free.
When I am writing I am peeling back the many layers of myself. I have laid out all my pain and suffering on here and it has brought me so much healing. I have expressed my anger and my sadness. I have shared my journey through grief and allowed the words to flow from me onto the screen. Our emotions are like water, they need to be allowed to flow and with that flow we get to experience true growth.
I am not what I seem,
I carry myself, a child like dream,
inside of me, as I advance
as I begin this most intimate dance,
I can be calm,
yet inside a storm can rage,
I can be angry, and tear at every page,
my life as a book,
on display with this words,
I can be anyone, I can play and be a bird,
just watch me glide,
watch me soar,
I can be so much more.
How I feel changes from day to day, when I have needed to cry, I have cried, when I have needed to scream, you can be damn sure that I scream. I do not hold back, I let myself feel. It is my writing that has carried me, that has allowed me to begin my healing journey and all those stories I have shared in the past, all those poems they represent who I am and who I am becoming.
I am aware that I usually write in a way that aims at inspiring and motivating people. But yesterday and today, I write because it actually helps to lighten the weight of what I am carrying, if even for a few moments. It is like breathing, breathing out, releasing it all. it is almost like when I write it on here, just for a second I get to let go of it all, just for a second.
The above piece is what I wrote, whilst I was waiting to travel back to see my sister after hearing she was admitted to a Hospice. That paragraph explains exactly how writing has helped me, how it continues to help me deal with the challenges that come into my life. It literally breathes life back into me and it helps me to keep moving forward.
This post is in response to the EcoTrain Question of the Week, which asked us 'Share a story about a life challenge....'