Oh Men! I am one, and I know what it means to be a man and have all the feelings and attributes that men have. I have desires, fantasies, and will often look at any beautiful woman (or man for that matter) with appreciation or admiration.. and yes sometimes even lust! Even though I am a man, not all men are the same, and some are more driven by their hormones desires and instincts than others. Personally speaking I have experienced being relatively unaffected by a beautiful woman for most of my young adulthood, as well as the primal feelings and urges of a more mature man. Having experienced both sides of the fence, it puts me me in a good place to share a little about this very important question!

Question. Why do many religions seek to prevent women from 'dressing up' too much? Muslims, Orthodox Jews, Amish, and Indian to name a few are so careful and restrictive about how women dress and present themselves. Is this to protect the women, the men, or both? Whilst I don't really appreciate or value forcing women to dress down, especially in the case of things like face covering, I can see why this is done, and the value of keeping modesty in public areas. These days especially, we live in a very multicultural world, and we have to learn to respect and live together. In general my opinion on very provocative dress is that there is a time and a place for everything.

Here's the thing... many men are unable to control themselves. This is even more apparent when I visit certain countries like Israel and Egypt for example. I will never forget when i once passed through the Egypt border with my women friends, and saw the way in which the police looked at them. They were clearly and without any shame undressing these women in their minds and doing who knows what with them. It was not nice to see and I dont think ive ever looked at a women that way. These men were out of control a far as I'm concerned. Who to blame for that? I’m not even sure.. maybe the culture, maybe the oppression, maybe its just the genetics of being middle eastern? The same can really be said for most guys that are also European. I think the main difference is that men have learned to temper it a bit, and have a bit less of an intensity or desire when seeing a beautiful woman. Nevertheless, guys seems to be guys wherever I go, and its fair to say that most guys are totally preoccupied with beautiful women. Its only when you are a guy that you really get an insight into this world. Put a few men together and let a stunning woman walk past and see what happens! All eyes follow, and the guys will always mention it to each other afterwards in some kind of comment.. Whilst men react to different degrees to this kind of stimulus, its far to say that most men are wired in the same way. They have this kind of instinct to seduce a woman... they have a carnal desire to procreate and have sex with different women, even if they are married. It's fair to say that MOST men cheat (may women too!), and whether or not they are married, they are always on the look out for someone else. I know this because of ALL the men i have ever known, VERY VERY VERY few have been faithful.. For the record, I am one of them!

So the question needs to be asked.. can we realistically expect men to control their behaviour toward women or not? I think the simple answer is Absolutely, but not always. Look, here is the thing.. Women who REALLY make an effort to look stereotypically beautiful, dress up in incredible sexy and revealing clothes, anoint themselves with perfumes containing pheromones, and make themselves appear to be wanting attention are sending out a message. It is one thing to be presentable and pretty, but its quite another thing to dress to impress and even be flirtatious. Whilst i personally DON'T think it is OK for men to be rude, shout out obscene comments, or otherwise interfere with a woman who hasn’t asked for it, I do understand why it happens. I would love to say that men should learn to control themselves, however i don't really think that is going to work! It's sad but true that most men are out of control, and that our society doesn’t really have a problem with men shouting out after a pretty lady on the street. I’m sure many women smile and welcome it, because that is why many women dress up in the first place.. but equally many women DON'T want this kind of attention and just want to look good for themselves and their partner.. and want to get respect. With that said, im sure in countries like Japan you are rarely going to see the kind of behaviour that a construction worker from the UK would exhibit for example. There are cultural differences and big differences in behaviour around the world. .. and that makes this question even harder to answer.

Therefore, I would have to say that a woman should understand When and Where it is OK to dress provocatively. If you are going out clubbing and want to impress and yes Maybe meet a nice guy then i would say that IS the time and place for a women to go all out and display herself however she desires. In that case men also should learn to respect that, and control themselves. At least in theory, but alcohol sure makes that a hard thing to really expect. On the other hand, if a woman is just going out to go shopping, or is going to work, then she needs to be aware of her impact on others. I'm not sure it is totally fair to REALLY dress up to the nines and then expect all men to ignore her! As hard as it to say, it is asking for trouble. It may not be their fault exactly, but I do wonder if we can really expect anything different? I think when a woman really understands her effects on men, then she can learn when it is appropriate to be dressed provocatively or not.

So in conclusion, I would say we have to find a balance. Men do need to learn to control themselves, and to a large extent many do.. It's just that one stupid guy in a large group who can cause problems, and so whilst 99% of men may well have their actions and carnal desires under control, that one guy who doesn’t sure stands out and can make life a misery for many women... and that guy is probably too far gone for us to expect him to change.. at least without significant social pressure.. That is the crazy thing about life, it only takes one idiot to ruin everything for us all! So the balance lies with men to correct each other a bit and put that pressure on each other, but also for women to dress appropriately for any given situation. It does SHOck me when i see VERY young girls dressed up like they are 10 or 20 years older than they really are, and that is the worst thing because they look the part, but they are not mature enough to really know what they are doing or how to handle it.

The final part of this question is RESPONSIBILITY! Who is responsible for unwanted attention? Well im going to have to be Very honest again and say women are! That doesn’t make the attention OK, or acceptable, but it is how things work. Men are responsible for their own actions, but if we are honest and pragmatic we can understand that they are also biological beings who have evolved to notice seduction and respond to it. When a peacock does her dance, the male comes forward. When a cat is on heat and releases her pheromones and sings her cat like song, the males cats all come running. So likewise when a woman does the same we can not really be surprised that the men also come forward. Our culture is based around finding partners and sexual experiences, and flirting and trying to seduce a woman successfully is a part of life. Thats is what makes this question SO hard, because women DO want attention, and Do want to be seduced, but only by the right guy! What to do, I wish I had an answer that protected women more WHATEVER they choose to do, but really and truly I think we have accept the consequences of our action and not deny human nature at the same time. Just to be VERY clear, this opinion does not include abuse, groping or any kind of physical contact which in my opinion is totally unacceptable and that responsibility rests on the shoulders of men.

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