Who is this Darin the Dairy Cat Character??? - you're sorry you asked... here is the
Darin is on his way back from a business conference in Denver to NYC. He is a sales exec for some pharmaceutical company… he’s very business like in demeanor and extremely reasonable… When he arrives on the bus to NY, he has an upset stomach so he seeks out a farmacy and while scans the aisle he comes across a bottle of milk of AMNESIA mistaking it for milk of magnesia. He drinks the milk of amnesia, and of course, immediately forgets who he is, where he is and what he’s doing. And thus hes begins wondering aimlessing around the streets of NY… after awhile, and some interesting and bizarre encounters with the denizens of the city, he gets picked up by animal control and taken to a “no-kill” shelter in upstate NY. There he gets shoved into a cage amongst a bunch of cats who try to teach him to meow… it comes out MOOOO-OW.
Meanwhile… Leonard &Louis have just purchased on old run-down cheese farm in rural NY. They know nothing about cheese, they no nothing about farms, and they pretty much know nothing about everything but think otherwise. They have decided they want to get inot the cheese business… but have discovered that their barn is infested with mice. So they head on down to the animal shelter to get themselves a cat. When they get their they immediately decide to get Darin, cause a cat THAT size would eat THOUSANDS of mice! The attendent at the shelter just shrugs and signs Darin over to louis and Leonard, happy to get rid of him, as his MOOO-OWING has become extremely annoying. He tells them that they need to change his litter box at least three times a day… and keep him away from the houseplants… he eats them…
Once back at farm, Louis and Leonard show darin to the barn and tell him his job is to eat all the mice… Darin at first accepts his task, but when finally faced with it, decides that the mice are too dang adorable to eat. The mice find it extremely humourous that darin thinks he’s a cat and help to reinforce the idea… however, they ARE mice, and they DO love cheese… that’s why they all moved here from jersey, cause they wanted better access to cheese. The mice are led by Elvis the mouse. Elvis draws up some rudimentary plans of a vat type vessel in which to make cheese... So they teach darin, in a roundabout way how to make cheese… thus darin eventually becomes head of cheese production at the cheese farm… which makes louis and Leonard very happy. They don’t care how their stupid cat gets cheese made, they’re just happy its getting done. The cheese is of course made using darins milk… I never actually figured out how that was going to happen, the idea of him getting swollen and needing to “relieve” himself in privacy with a can of bag balm and a box of tissues has much potential I think... ok maybe not.
Ooooo and there's also Bob fat the Drunken Chicken... here's an excerpt from a Bob-Fat the Drunken Chicken stroy:
"Bobfat the Drunken Chicken made his way unsteadily to the entrance of the ramshackle old grey barn. He paused and leaned woozily against a worn wooden hitching post as deliberated the appropriateness of the word “ramshackle”. A derivative of the middle English word “ransaken”, the origin of the word arose out of the need to describe the remains of primitive, medieval dwellings after having been “ransacked” by roving barbarians or mud pirates. Bobfat glanced speculatively at the questionable structure, and concluded decisively that ramshackle was indeed the appropriate word. With a wary eye for lurking mudpirates he lurched forward and stumbled, farted and burped his way up the long grey ramp and through the great wide door..." want more??? Too bad you'll just have to wait till Im drunk enough to write more stupid shit!!
And I just want to add, that the weirdo I posted earlier did not hurt the dog... the dog is OK. its resting after the experience, but it IS OK... it was posing for the image... it was a scripted shoot. he's also really happy in this photo because his wife just gave birth to a litter of ponies.
@zenithwombat/doodles-from-my-sketchbook-prince-poopy-mcpooppants