Is there something you want to tell someone today?
I’ve been writing about positivity a lot recently because let’s face it, you guys seem to be jumping on that bandwagon, and it’s been an awesome ride.
Freakin’ awesome.
No, seriously, every one of you lovely people rock.
Even those that give me hate. You rock.
But I’d like to take a small sabbatical from my positivity writing, just for today, to talk a bit about communication, and how effective it can be when done right. And, I really hope it works for some of you.
I, as a young man, for reasons I’ve explained in several other posts was taught that being myself wasn’t cool.
It really wasn’t.
I mean if I were to even try being myself I’d probably get my lights knocked out.
And in pure learned behaviour style I brought this into my teens and twenties. The mask of me.
Anyway, once the mask of me was truly ripped off by people that helped I started to learn some positively awesome things about life.
Such as effective communication.
Did you know that 90% of the arguments I’ve had can simply be diffused by saying,
“Sorry”
And no I don’t mean the crappy “sorry” someone gives you as they walk off with their arms folded and in a petulant huff.
A sorry with an explanation.
My good friend was incredibly angry at something I had done a couple of weeks back.
Fuming he was.
In my defence I think he was just making a mountain out of a mole hill. You know? Those things that seem stupidly pointless.
But the fact was that it was super important to him. And that mattered to me.
And when I found out he was blowing steam from the ears I immediately called him up,
“I’m really sorry mate. Really sorry. I didn’t know that what I had done had upset you like that. I really feel bad. I’ll make sure I avoid it in the future. I promise”
It was more drawn out than that but you get the jist of it.
Situation immediately diffused. And after that we worked upon building our friendship as we always do.
If that were me 10 years ago I wouldn’t have apologised. Because he was just being stupid I would think to myself. But where would that leave me?
He would get angrier, and we wouldn’t speak.
Life to me is too short for that bullshit. I’d rather admit my failures and recognise the impact my actions have on others no matter how stupid they may seem at the time.
And it’s not only anger but other communication too.
Do you know how many chances at love I missed out on because I wouldn’t tell them how I “feel”
They didn’t want to know for the millionth time how attractive they were, they wanted to know how I “feel”
I couldn’t call anyone up and tell them, “Hey, I was just thinking about you today, how are you?” because that would be opening up too much.
And I certainly couldn’t go all out and say, “I bloody well like you – you make me feel good being around you”
So if you’re like me when I was younger and struggle with saying sorry, telling people how you feel, or a potential partner that you like them, or all god damned 3 :D,
Pick up that phone
Or go over to their house
Take that risk
Be vulnerable for a moment
Think about the bigger picture
Be awesome.