The following essay contains spoilers for all of Steven Universe and Steven Universe Future.

Last month saw the release of the final episode of Steven Universe, a show that I have been following for four years and that has been airing for seven. It’s a show that has been met with perhaps some of the most mixed reception I have ever seen, facing both the highest amounts of praise and the lowest amounts of scorn. To be fair, I think that Steven Universe is the one of the most mixed shows I have seen. It handles mature subjects eloquently at some points and in a very kid-friendly way at others, and its characters can be written with incredible depth only for that depth to be lost in several episodes. There are some really, really bad episodes of Steven Universe. There are also moments that may stick with me for the rest of my life.

Take, for instance, when I started the show. I watched through the whole thing while Season 4 was airing. The last episode I needed to catch up on before being up to date with release was “Mindful Education”, an episode about how bottling up anxiety can only escalate the problem, and that it is important to lean on loved ones and face problems head-on while not letting self-blame consume you. It is a gorgeous episode that builds upon season 3 very well, as Steven is left to grapple with the aftermath of not being able to correct his mother’s mistakes.

So, how do we build upon this? With the next episode and the first one I saw live, “Future Boy Zoltron”. In it, Steven breaks one of those old fortune telling machines and has to pretend to be the robot for the day. That’s about it.

That’s not to say that shows that talk about heavy subjects can’t have fun once in a while, but any fan can tell you that Steven Universe has a pacing problem. There are long stretches of time spent on fun one-off episodes, and when there is a focus on character development and plot, it is gone too soon. This is especially a problem in the show’s final season. There is so much build-up to the Diamonds and Homeworld, and when we finally get there, everything is resolved so swiftly in a way that feels very out-of-character for nearly everyone involved. Then, in Future, the whole mini-series sets up Steven’s growing PTSD and impostor syndrome, and when he finally snaps, this climax is only given ten minutes to breathe before it is ended with a hug.

It’s a shame, because Steven Universe is always at its strongest when it takes its time. The narrative with Pearl, for example, is incredible. The show takes all five seasons to tell this heart-breaking story of a person who was made to be nothing more than a plaything for those with far more power than she could ever hope to achieve. She had it ingrained to find self-worth only in those she served, and that unhealthy mentality stays with her in her service to Rose until long after she is gone. It is only after Steven is born that she is truly able to find her own identity and her own purpose in life. Looking back at one of my favorite episodes, “Rose’s Scabbard”, you can see how far she’s come from this point early on in the show to where she ends up by the end.

I think one of the most underrated parts of season 5 is how Pearl finally being able to talk about what happened between her and Rose in “Now We’re Only Falling Apart” served to provide her that final closure she so desperately needed, and now in “Bismuth Casual” in Future we can see her fully come into her own as the punk, cheesy roller-skating mom friend that she was destined to be.

Now, Pearl had some bad moments. There’s not a fan of the show that doesn’t look over at the Sardonyx arc with a proper amount of disdain. Similarly, many characters have some really sour character beats that feel brushed over pretty quickly, or simply lack character beats for a good while because the show doesn’t feature them for ages. Steven Universe’s self-proclaimed B-team especially is shafted near the end. Lapis, Peridot, and especially Bismuth, I am so sorry you queens among gems. Man, “The New Crystal Gems” was painful.

And yet, I would always consider myself a person who is willing to invest a lot into something and stick with it for the long haul. Through my time with Steven Universe, I found that the slower Beach City episodes could have some wonderful character moments, and the more promising plot episodes could come with disappointments. You never really knew what to expect, and while that’s definitely not everyone’s jam, it was enough to keep me around. For every gosh darn Ronaldo episode, there was something special right around the corner. For every character that received less than optimal screen time, there were characters like Lars that genuinely surprised me with where they ended up.

Even at the show’s ending, we had that cheesy rushed climax, but then there’s the final episode, “The Future”. After so much time spent in Beach City, having Steven leave it to find himself at the end just feels so right. I adore how they handled the final goodbye between Steven and the Crystal Gems as well. It’s so bittersweet and feels so natural, honoring the depth of the relationship between these characters. When Steven is driving off during the end credits, it just feels cathartic, especially after how intense a good amount of Future was. I did cry, because even despite all of the show’s flaws, it was still just so nice to have.

At the end of the day, Steven Universe was a show that wasn’t the greatest thing since sliced bread, but also wasn’t an overrated pile of mush. It was an experience, and I think it was a good experience.